Depression Costs More Than Your Life

It's no secret that life is short. We never know how long we have but everyone knows its not long enough. I've had depression for almost 4 years now. Thats a huge time period of time, almost a 6th of my life so far. I started thinking about what this illness has cost me?

My first thought went to where many humans minds wonder too, money. 4 years of medication and perscriptions. Doesnt ever seem that much when you buy antibiotics once a year for a throat infection. But regular perscriptions costs me aroun £120 a year. So thats £480 quid on medication ive spent and I aint finished adding to my tab. That is bloody ridiclious, I can only image how much is costs in America. Anyway thats just money right, doesnt mean that much. Then I started thining about how much effort I put into getting my perscriptions.

Doctors, GPS, Nurses, Psycological Specialists, Theropists, Psychosis Nurses and Pharmasists. . .  I have spent hours, ney days with all these ppl. Doing tests, check ups, meetings blah blah. Yes loads of it has been worth it, im not trying to say its not. . .  im just saying thats all time and energy im not getting back and waiting in skanky waiting rooms is my idea of fun.

I also think being mental can be like being drunk to an extend. I don;t know what im doing and I do a lot of stupid things. On bad trips ive broke things, purchased random things. both online and on angry trips to town. Oh ive also had to buy a lot of sorry presents for people. In fairness I always was good at buying sorry presents.

3 Days in hospital, that was fun. 3 days of lying around being pumped dry not really acheiving anything (except getting my life back).

Almost lost 27K by stuggling through uni. I mean im lucky cos I didn't, I passed with a 2:1 . . . . but it wasnt easy. Got stressed easy, found deadlines hard, concentration was low, I had a few extensions and stuff to help me but I can image a lot more people stuggling more than I did.

I think the point im trying to get accross is that we sacrafise a lot in the effort to get better. Is it worth it? Hell yes! But its just one of those things that makes a hard life harder. Looking back my list is rather pathetic, im sure if other people made a list there would be the loss of jobs, marraiges, loves ones, homes, family etc. Sometimes I dont think its fair what we are given to deal with. None the less we deal with it. And you know what I have respect for every single sufferer who has had to sacrafice things to get better. It is a sign of will power and strength.