So this New Years Eve I was chatting to a very good friend of mine who is training in medicine at university to become a doctor. Even with my friends I never explain all my experiences or what happend to me or what psychotic depression is. However after a few drinks he got the nerve to actually ask me some questions about it. I was pretty shocked about his lack of knowledge of the subject.
I tried telling him some of the basic details of what had happened, how I discovered it and what sort of symptoms I suffered from. As a friend he was obviously concerned, but what struck me most was the guilt that he then felt. After doing my best to explain real paranoia, delusions and mood swings it was weird to see that as a "doctor" in training he wished he knew more about it so he could help. He had known I had the mental illness for well over a year but obviously didnt know much about it like most people. However felt as a doctor he should of.
This then made me think, if doctors in training are losing there awareness of mental illnesses, what hope is there that the doctors we encounter, who were trained years ago knowing what they are doing. I mean I am used to the public being unaware and ignorant to mental illnesses, there was that sucky advert that tried to spread awarness but it was more cringe than informing.
I always had major paranoia over what doctors though of me, I always thought they were bullshitting me and giving my shit loads of placebos. Obviously that's a dangerous position to be in as it could of caused me to stop taking medicine or stop going to appointments.
I am thinking that more needs to be done in informing the public and even training professionals of mental illnesses. This is partly the reason I try and share my expreiences. Most acedemics will tell you that knowledge is power. I beleive it is the same with this illness. The more you / friends / public know about it, the less "taboo" it will become and the less not talked about. I stay annonymous and dont tell many people of it mainly cos I dont know how they will react. Im proud of who I am now and I live with psychotic depression but that shouldnt influence peoples opinion of me.
Do you ever think that you doctor isnt filling you with confidence or wish the common person was more aware of mental illnesses?
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Stress is experienced when an individual cannot anymore handle the social and personal resources because it already exceeds its capacity.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that there is so much more we all need to know about mental disorders especially doctors. I have had depression for years and am constantly looking for new information out there to stay informed myself. A helpful website to check out is http://onlineceucredit.com/edu/social-work-ceus-dy. It offers a lot of great information about depression and treatments out there.
ReplyDeleteI am a psychotic depression sufferer and I am now on the mend from a depressive episode from this summer. I ended up in hospital for an overdose - which is my closest attempt thus far. Something I noticed whilst Im going thru an episode is that I think that the doctor doesn't like me or thinks that I am just making things up. I feel a real boundary between doctors/nurses, it could be my inherent belief to not trust anyone...I was on the wrong dosage for nearly 1 month where I was too sedated to do anything...I was like a ragdoll constantly napping. My boyfriend didn't understand why I wanted to sleep all day and I couldn't explain because I was too depressed to talk about it. It wasn't until I started to feel a bit better that I told the doctor how my medication was making me feel = extremely drowsy
ReplyDeleteMy point here is that the illness makes me very unreliable and uncommunicative - something that could have drove me to more self harm. And if the doctor was more intrusive or aggressive, the problem could have been solved earlier eg. getting the right balance of meds.
I hate the meds, every night they are a constant reminder that this illness is here to stay unless I take them.
A little part of me weeps with every pill I take.
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