The Begining

I officialy was diagnosed with Psycotic Depression on the 28th March 2009. I was 20 and a Student at University. They caught the illness in a very late stage at could estimate I had been suffering for about 18 months. And too think I only went to the doctors because I didnt have an appetite. So how did I get Diagnosed?

After my first semister at University things started to go down hill. Friendships became a struggle to keep up with and I was finding myself become very needy and dependent on people. Strangely enough I thought it was just a bad stage or me trying to 'find who I was'. Turns out it was the begining stages of depression. During my second year I went to the doctors as my weight was rapidly decreassing but I just wasnt finsing myself hungry. After going in for what I thought could be a stomach bug I left being told I was depressed and I had to take medication. Natually this was a big shock and I don't think its too much to say I was slightly ashamed and ebarresed to be depressed. I did't want to tell anyone what was happening so I kept it quiet, took my medication and started to see a councilor.

After about a month things went from bad to worse as I tried to keep up the student life. After a terrible drunken night out where the depression really got on top of me I lost a lot of respect from friends. After that night I overdossed on my medication I had piced up the day before. I will write about this expreience in a seperate blog for more detail. I ended up spending two days in hospital I was released on caution being told I had to be checked for psycotic sytmptoms.

Since then I have had to live my life with this illness. I had a big struggle telling people about it and trying to get them to understand, which I will write about. I am also now on placement. Which basicaly means I had to up and leave to another city where I didn't know anyone and try and live and work. Ive had to struggle with girl friends. I have also become a Christian through this experience which I will also write about. If any of this relates to you, or you know someone like this, please read on to try and understand a few of the problems people with metal illness's suffer from!

Kind Regards.